Overshare Overload
I'm trying my best to run chronologically in the series of dates. This one is a real doozie. I have a theory about information on your online dating profile. Make everything positive. You can mention that you have faults, because who doesn't? You can even talk about them, but don't make it sound like your life is falling apart because of your imperfections. The goal is to accept yourself before you start trying to attract someone else to accept you.
I should have known that red flags were all over this guy, let's call him Ray. He was tall and had this smile that made my heart smile. Beautiful teeth and gorgeous skin and dimples. He seemed really compassionate and his profile mentioned that he helped care for his developmentally delayed brother. What's wrong with this guy? There has to be something. His profile says that he's in the healthcare field, and he mentions that he's temporarily living back at home. Okay, we all have rough times, so I didn't take it too much to heart. It was the tone of his profile that should have made me stop short. Despite that huge smile that made him look happy and content, his profile seemed less than optimistic.
But I'm an eternal optimist, so I sent him a message. I'm not afraid to reach out to someone I may like and at this point, I was still pretty new at this whole thing. I sent him a message telling him that I think he's cute and that I liked that he's honest and open in his profile.
And then things get weird. He went from compassionate and handsome to totally just kind of pathetic. One of the first thing he said is that no one ever sends him messages and most of the time, no one replies to his messages. Okay, well, that's apparently common for men on dating websites, or so I've been led to believe. So, that wasn't troublesome.
He tells me that his job is actually in the healthcare industry, working in a laundry service at a nursing home. I know, I shouldn't be judgy, but come on, guy! I don't care about a man's money, because I'm financially independent, but I do need a man who can financially take care of himself. I'm not taking on another child. So, he's living at home because of financial/economic purposes and not so much because he loves his family and wants to help his parents and his brother. Now, I'm hearing warning bells.
Then this 32 year-old man drops the bomb. He's only ever been in one relationship, and it lasted only two years. What is going on with a guy that age that he's never really had a serious relationship? He tells me that he's only had sex with a few women... and never really enjoyed it. What the actual fuck did he just say? Then he makes it out like the problem has been all the women he's ever slept with and not himself. I'm just saying that sex is a chemical crapshoot, sometimes you do awesome and sometimes it just ain't there. But after more than three or four partners, you should know the difference! I have a hard time believing that he's managed to copulate with multiple women and still can't find one that worked out.
At this point, I'm kind of backing away slowly with my eyes large and my hands out in the defensive position thinking that I've found the freak of the internet. I had no idea at that time that poor Ray was just the tip of the iceberg.
I know at this point that there is no way in hell I'm going out with this guy. I mean, my plan is totally to find someone to share my life adventures with, but I'm not settling because I'm lonely and ready to find someone. I'll date for years to find that one if I have to. Ray is not him. But because I'm new at this, I'm trying to be considerate of his feelings (boy do you get over that quickly). So, we are actually still in contact. He has asked me what he's doing wrong and any of you who know me in the real world know that you don't ask me a question if you don't want a totally honest answer.
I told him that he was entirely too forthcoming and he had no self-confidence. His very attitude was getting him brushed off. And I told him never to mention that sex thing to another woman again. That will scare them right off.
This post was mostly about the way that you present yourself in relation to how people perceive you. I think I'm pretty incredible, and I genuinely believe it. I've worked so hard to get to where I am and I know how far I've come from my humble beginnings. I've been mistreated by people, the universe, and even myself. But to quote one of my favorite films, "I got better". (You have to read it with a British accent.) My whole point is that you have to be comfortable with yourself, you have to love yourself, before you can ever find someone to accept and love you for all you are.
Stay tuned for my next post, all about a gorgeous creature with something just...off.
I should have known that red flags were all over this guy, let's call him Ray. He was tall and had this smile that made my heart smile. Beautiful teeth and gorgeous skin and dimples. He seemed really compassionate and his profile mentioned that he helped care for his developmentally delayed brother. What's wrong with this guy? There has to be something. His profile says that he's in the healthcare field, and he mentions that he's temporarily living back at home. Okay, we all have rough times, so I didn't take it too much to heart. It was the tone of his profile that should have made me stop short. Despite that huge smile that made him look happy and content, his profile seemed less than optimistic.
But I'm an eternal optimist, so I sent him a message. I'm not afraid to reach out to someone I may like and at this point, I was still pretty new at this whole thing. I sent him a message telling him that I think he's cute and that I liked that he's honest and open in his profile.
And then things get weird. He went from compassionate and handsome to totally just kind of pathetic. One of the first thing he said is that no one ever sends him messages and most of the time, no one replies to his messages. Okay, well, that's apparently common for men on dating websites, or so I've been led to believe. So, that wasn't troublesome.
He tells me that his job is actually in the healthcare industry, working in a laundry service at a nursing home. I know, I shouldn't be judgy, but come on, guy! I don't care about a man's money, because I'm financially independent, but I do need a man who can financially take care of himself. I'm not taking on another child. So, he's living at home because of financial/economic purposes and not so much because he loves his family and wants to help his parents and his brother. Now, I'm hearing warning bells.
Then this 32 year-old man drops the bomb. He's only ever been in one relationship, and it lasted only two years. What is going on with a guy that age that he's never really had a serious relationship? He tells me that he's only had sex with a few women... and never really enjoyed it. What the actual fuck did he just say? Then he makes it out like the problem has been all the women he's ever slept with and not himself. I'm just saying that sex is a chemical crapshoot, sometimes you do awesome and sometimes it just ain't there. But after more than three or four partners, you should know the difference! I have a hard time believing that he's managed to copulate with multiple women and still can't find one that worked out.
At this point, I'm kind of backing away slowly with my eyes large and my hands out in the defensive position thinking that I've found the freak of the internet. I had no idea at that time that poor Ray was just the tip of the iceberg.
I know at this point that there is no way in hell I'm going out with this guy. I mean, my plan is totally to find someone to share my life adventures with, but I'm not settling because I'm lonely and ready to find someone. I'll date for years to find that one if I have to. Ray is not him. But because I'm new at this, I'm trying to be considerate of his feelings (boy do you get over that quickly). So, we are actually still in contact. He has asked me what he's doing wrong and any of you who know me in the real world know that you don't ask me a question if you don't want a totally honest answer.
I told him that he was entirely too forthcoming and he had no self-confidence. His very attitude was getting him brushed off. And I told him never to mention that sex thing to another woman again. That will scare them right off.
This post was mostly about the way that you present yourself in relation to how people perceive you. I think I'm pretty incredible, and I genuinely believe it. I've worked so hard to get to where I am and I know how far I've come from my humble beginnings. I've been mistreated by people, the universe, and even myself. But to quote one of my favorite films, "I got better". (You have to read it with a British accent.) My whole point is that you have to be comfortable with yourself, you have to love yourself, before you can ever find someone to accept and love you for all you are.
Stay tuned for my next post, all about a gorgeous creature with something just...off.
Comments
Post a Comment