Blendydick Slumbersnatch
I met Leo on OkCupid. You'd think I'd learn my lesson. We kind of hit it right off. He was smart and deep and has the prettiest little girl. I had just gotten over with a kind of painful breakup that didn't make even a little bit of sense to me and I needed the ego-stroking to kind of bring me back up to par. He told me that he was looking for a girlfriend and that he really wanted someone to come home to every day. Let's be honest, that appeals to me these days much more than a different guy every week. He seemed sincere and kind and in a similar place as I am, so I agreed to go out for coffee with him. We agreed to have a cup of coffee in one of my favorite local shops and it was really convenient to his house, come to find out. I swear he looked like a fair-haired Benedict Cumberbatch in suspenders. His skin was perfect and he had the most gorgeous blue eyes. He was tall and handsome and dressed adorably. I never go for that look, but he was cute and kind of awk...