It's All About the Journey

Whew, the past week has been intense. I had a coffee date late morning and it did not go as well as I'd hoped. I'm basically exhausted with dating. So I got home and decided not to even change. I liked the black dress, suede wedge booties, and my faithful military style green jacket with all my pins. We all went out on Friday night to watch the Tyson fight because silly us, we thought the buffering was my internet and not the whole of Netflix.  I hate that bar. I'd probably love that bar, except that people can still smoke in there. And they do. I end up with smoke in my hair, smoke in my clothes, and smoke in my wimpy little lungs. I just can't take it. I cough for days sometimes. But I went anyway. It was fun. I had a blast minus the oxygen part. Saw plenty of friends I already made and made a new one or two. One may or may not have a shy smile, the perfect nose, and a random sprinkling of freckles that made me want to do more than smile. He also happens to actually b...

I feel like I should be making a confession to my grandmother. I never worried much about her opinion of my religion (or most things, really, because, man could she be so critical) while she was with us. But I think of the person she was and the denomination she chose, and I can't help but think that her values weren't ever in line with the way churches of her denomination behaved. She was critical. She was that way I think because she had such crushing faith and pride in me. I didn't realize at the time that real love is being disappointed. When you really love someone, you believe the best of them. And no one can be the best, even their best self, all the time. But she was also so accepting, loving, welcoming, forgiving, empathetic, kind, nurturing, and tough as whale bone. I can't even get this far without tears streaming down my face. I wake up at night with her loss in my heart. I fall asleep praying. I think she'd love to know that. Someone once said I was the...

At our vet fair last week, Stephen and I wandered around to make introductions and network towards the end. I knew there was a service dog trainer there and I saw the pups under the table. I went over and began to introduce myself. Her face moved in what must have been confusion and she looked over my right shoulder and before I could speak she asked "Who died?" I almost choked up, but didn't. I just said "which one?" because there have been so many. She said that I had an angel and I just pointed at Stephen and said "I think it's him." My angel, that is. She turned to Stephen and asked him about my "good energy." Y'all, I really don't know which one she felt. Nanny? Daddy? Jay? I got me a few angels. She may have just been insane, but I believe she believed what she said because she'd have to be a psycho to train her face to make that exact expression if she really did understand what she was looking at. I couldn't sleep....