It's All About the Journey

I don't think this day ever gets easier. Let me do some quick math. Sixteen birthdays. I think about how small the kids were sixteen years ago. He'd be a grandfather. He'd be both the best and worst grandfather ever. I think about the few strands of silver he had in his dark hair at 30 and what he'd look like now, nearing 50. I know he'd have laugh lines to beat anything you ever saw.  I think I could write about him all day. I could tell story after story and laugh and cry. He'd only want me to laugh. He made it very clear that he wanted me to be happy. If anything ever happened to him, he wanted me to move on. Don't grieve forever and waste a chance to find happiness. I thank god he gave me that blessing. I make sure to do the same thing with anyone I love as well. I've only ever had one person who told me he'd rather I die lonely if anything ever happened to him. I never got over that. Turns out that was a pattern. The idea that you feeling good n...

I so rarely remember my dreams. And when I do remember my dreams, they're usually violent and traumatic. And they are usually just kind of blind glimpses. Last night, we decided to fix that. I had a full feature-length scary movie dream...which didn't scare me. I don't even watch scary movies when I'm awake because they terrify me to the point that I spend nights sweaty and not sleeping. My imagination is amazing. And it also sucks. So, double-edged swords and all that. So my dream involved spending the night in this mansion, obviously. Gabe was there and some of my friends. Oh, look, there's what this means. More on that later. We were all assigned our rooms in broad daylight and the proprietor noted something about getting lost. Of course he did. So we all get settled into our various rooms on the same wing and began shuffling about in our various directions. Wait, here comes a plot twist. I wandered off alone and I went up some stairs and through a door and I was...

I write from my living room's second-best chair, as the best chair is currently inhabited by a giant, orange, single brain-celled organism we call Floyd Mayweather. I haven't got the heart to disturb him, because if I scootch him over, he will bolt and he looks peaceful and happy. I do have my stocking feet on the coffee table. Don't tell anyone that I allowed even myself that concession. I should eat something. I don't think that I will.  I guess I put down the laptop and went to bed without finishing that one, huh? Let me start again. Y'all, be careful what you manifest and careful what you pray for. You might get it, but if you don't specify, it won't be like you want. I'd gained some happy weight lately and I'd been working to drop it in the past week or so hoping for that mystical number I was last year when Lena took me to the beach with the babies. I'd conveniently forgotten that I got to that weight by having literally four plagues at the...