It's All About the Journey

I asked the guys at the shop last night if they know anyone who has wild blackberries that I could pick in a couple weeks. I offered a cobbler or a jar of jam as thanks. It got them going and one said "I don't know anyone, but that sounds good." I said a jar of jam had floated around the shop a few weeks ago. Another one said that they were out of bread *wink wink*. I said I'd immediately get up and feed my starter. I did. I had a guest and I just got right up anyway. I'd do anything in the world for those men. My brothers. Another said that he didn't get any bread at all. I told him I'd bring him a loaf all his own. And I will. He's the one who verbally offered the support I knew was there. Said the words. The words help me so much to feel safe. I know that about myself now. Then he hugged me, after asking for consent. So if you think these guys who don't always think the same way as folks like me are not the kind of good people we love like our o...

I've not really even been able to write lately. I just feel bruised and tired. There is a lot going on, so I suspect it's just life slapping me in the face with its dick. My therapist said I look like I've lost weight. Everyone tells me I look great when I tell them how awful I feel. I hate that so much. As if looking good helps a thing when you kind of just want to give up. I spend way too much time crying. Ugly crying. And I've let people see it. And then sometimes, you get inspiration from places you never expected.  I was speaking with my best girlfriend about a situation in her life. Or a situation she's watching unfold in the lives of a couple she knows.  She says "They can't both be crazy, can they?" I thought about it and I realized really quickly that yes, they both can be crazy. Absolutely. And here's my hot take on why and how that happens. It's not at all uncommon for people with mental illness to get involved with other people who ...