It's All About the Journey

I've mentioned recently that I fall asleep many nights praying. And that is absolutely true. There has not been a night that I didn't fall asleep praying gratitude for people in my life. Always someone different, probably only Gabe more than once. Sometimes I pray for their happiness, whatever that means. The only thing I ever ask for myself is strength. I do not pray that my trouble is ended or that I get what I want. I pray that I manage to withstand whatever shapes me into the grand plan that I don't understand. I do not pray for an end of suffering, but to be long-suffering. I pray to withstand whatever so that I can be tempered. "Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope." Romans 5:3-4 I'll quote any other book that speaks to me, so I guess it's time to reconsider this one. And in those prayers of thanks, I have managed to receive what I can...

I've barely sat still for the past week. I can't. I feel like my skin is going to crawl off me and slink away if I am. That sick, heaviness of guilt in my stomach turns into an anxiety so intense I either cry or get off my ass. That said, I'm constantly tired. But I am kicking this move's ass. I've sorted and mostly packed my living room, my office, my bathroom and closet, the basement, the garage, most of the kitchen, and the coat closet. I've staged the garage for the move, hauled off a full car load of donations to Goodwill, arranged my renter's insurance, scheduled the power on at the new place, scheduled to have the power turned off here, moved my internet service and scheduled my appointment to have it connected for me. All I really have left is the linen closet, the drawers in my bedroom, and the furniture. Oh, and taking all the art from the walls. I don't want to do that. It's what makes a house feel like home. In addition to packing, I'...