Let's Build a House of Fire

Your birthday. You’re not quite as old as your youngest led me to believe. You’re sitting just outside the door now on the screened porch, playing something pretty well put together and singing along just loudly enough that I can hear your voice, but not your words. I’d know your picking if I were blind and half deaf.

My dear man, I hope your birthday was magical. I hope that the weather was perfect and the kids behaved. I hope your birthday supper tasted just right and we got the best seat in the house. I hope you laughed and smiled and got all of the things that you bring to everyone else. I’ve never met someone who deserves more joy. You think you got lucky, but I think I got pretty lucky too. I think that’s how it should be.

You have the same birthday as my grandfather. I discovered that by chance. You made me find your birthday and wouldn’t tell me. It wasn’t too much of a challenge. It came into my mind a few days later that it might be the same as my grandfather. I went upstairs and pulled out the lime green binder with my handwritten family tree in it and confirmed. I think that may have been a wink from Nanny. She always said he loved azaleas and would usually plant one on his birthday every year, magenta or red. She loved those colors. I always thought of them as Pawpaw’s azaleas. Forty years after his death, she would still speak of him with so much love and so much consternation. But mostly love.

I’ve been mulling over what to write for over a week now. Weeks. That thing I made for you gave me plenty of time to sit quietly and think. Honestly the most complex gift I’ve ever given anyone. I worked on it with everything I have in me. I knew that even if it wasn't very good, you'd wear it so proudly and tell anyone who asks that I made it. So if we have to have that level of advertising, I wanted to give you my very best. It's apparently good enough that a local artist wants a lesson. Nanny would have been really proud. 

You helped me pick the shirt. I yanked all the stitches for the tags identifying the brand. I can put some of them back if you want me to. There above your left pocket are EV’s birth flowers: rose and honeysuckle. I tried to pick colors I thought they’d like. Roses come in every color of the rainbow. I picked emo ones. Above your right pocket are Tallulah’s flowers: morning glory and aster. I would be lying if I said that was my first morning glory. That color combination is my favorite. Those intense purply blues against that brilliant white are striking. I bet she picks them when they start to bloom, doesn’t she? I worked on that part while I was at the hospital with Owen.

On the back, despite my own misgivings (I tell you, you should have been a brown bear), a red werewolf. I mean, how do you depict a werewolf and it not be completely ridiculous? So you get a beautiful, half-smiling red wolf and the phases of the moon, sacred geometry, flanking it (whose idea was trying to hand make something symmetrical?), are your own flowers: daisy and sweet pea.

Once it’s yours, you can tell me where you want me to put my own mark. I can put it on your cuff, or your collar, or the back of your collar. My own birth flowers don’t embroider well. Lily of the valley and hawthorn. Hawthorn looks a bit too much like blackberry and lily of the valley is arguably just weird and tiny. You get a four-leaf clover instead. I'm hoping it doesn't have too many itchy spots, but that metallic thread is something else and might be scratchy. I'll have to hassle you to complain so that I can put backing on it where it needs it.

Rambling on like I’ll do. I did my damnedest to make your birthday special. I suspect by Sunday afternoon, between me and the kids, we did a decent job. We got to listen to some incredible live music and rub elbows with a couple of Athens’ own cryptids. That was some shirt...

I got you a cake instead of baking one. A Japanese cheesecake from that bakery you said you loved. I understand that Tallulah likes them too, but I suspected that wiggly thing was not going to be my jam. I wasn't not sure of their take on the cheesecake. I even managed to mostly hide it in your own fridge wondering "How do you even put candles in that weird thing?" 

Friday went beautifully. The cheesecake really was just kind of cake. Like a very light poundcake. It's honestly not my favorite, but the family seems to all love it, so that's what you'll all get for your birthdays. I wonder if I can manage baking one... I insisted it was a Federal crime to pay for your own birthday dinner, so I snuck around you and paid. The food was great and the kids were wonderful. I ate barefoot with my toes in the sandpit under the palm trees outside

Saturday morning was less than smooth. I'd stayed out of town a bit down on the Appalachee and after the Friday night storms, there was a tree down. When I started to turn around, I got stuck. Come on, have you seen that car? It was a dirt road. It was soggy. After calling the usual suspects, I accepted your help. Of course you were the one who got me out of that ditch. My knight in shining pearl snaps. I'd do the same for you, but I'm not sure anyone has ever matched my effort quite so convincingly. Also, it's a shame I wasn't a boy because I need to take a little credit for shoving that car out of that ditch too. Teamwork, baby. We did it. And I am so grateful to you.

.You didn't tell any of us what we were doing on Saturday until we pulled into the parking lot and there were zebras. A safari park. I'd never done anything like that. I liked the giraffes. I got to meet a Scottish Highland Cow. You have to say it "coo" in order to get the accent right, I'm told. Emus are totally dinosaurs and the ostriches are more terrifying. But baby emus? Okay, possibly the cutest birds ever. I don't even want to get close to the camels. Nope nope nope. Giraffes were fun. Those tongues are absolutely weird.

Sunday brunch was perfect. Then we went to your local zoo and had a walk through the park. There were baby geese. Also, lots of turtles and few snakes. I wore a sundress and got a little burned. I promptly took a two hour nap when we got home. Between the two of us Sunday night, there wasn't much left so we were vegetables. Kids are exhausting.

I’m sitting here now on your couch, eating a fajita bowl from the fajitas I made on Tuesday. That whole experience was pure nostalgia and I loved the bustle of a house with children. All of that part is new to me. I was always the one with a small child. You think you’re lucky that you found me, but it’s really not all that much luck. I just wish someone like you had been around when Gabe was still young. I could have used even the smallest help. I wish it had been exactly you.. 

Overall, I think you had a pretty good birthday. You once asked me not to write things about you that weren't nice. I said I wouldn't if you act right. I have been known to Taylor Swift the snot out of some folks. We could also say I Jason Isbell the snot out of some folks. But we all know it's different when men do it. All of that to say that I don't want to write not nice things about you. I can only think of nice things. You are absolutely wonderful and I always have fun with you. I could get spoiled very quickly.