The Pawn Shops are Packed like a Backstage Party Hanging Full of Ugly, Pointy, Cheap Guitars

What's the opposite of an emotional vampire? Someone who seems to draw energy from positively impacting others. Comedians, touring musicians, bartenders... I realize that I'm drawn to people like that. I realize that I kind of also am one of those people. I mean, maybe it's just people-pleasing, but I think it's deeper than that. It's this need to leave a lasting impact on people who need it the most. I wonder if it's because we're the sort of people who really could have used someone like us at some pivotal moment and either didn't ever get that person, or really, really did that get person.

I've noticed lately that when someone does something nice for me, I notice. I hold on to it. I tend to then repeat it for someone else because it made me feel good. I'm typing all this up as I hear faint acoustic guitar chords through a closed door, playing a song I don't know. I doubt anyone knows it. I think I do know the hands playing it. I think I may even be able to guess the guitar. Superstition in composition, I suspect. Lucky socks and lucky pinstripes.

Today is my first official day back at work. Of course, I have issues right from the gate. The first Monday of the year is extra Monday. So I'm tracking down why my self-published help files from the end of last year are, well, not published. Pattern recognition is my jam, but something is just hinky with this particular process and I cannot sort it out. And we work with a ton of computer whizzes, so all of our data processing stuff is built in-house and all the gremlins are hidden, secret, easter egg gremlins. Gremlin eggs. And only the engineers ever have any clue what could possibly cause the issues. The good news is that they usually know how to fix them pretty quick.

I'm live painting again on Sunday. I popped up a flyer on request (so y'all share that all over socials) and I look forward to getting to hear a musician I adore while I paint a milky way over a lake. I wonder if painting mountains with it might be ambitious. Someone asked if I was painting lovers and I guess the sky and the water reflecting kind of is that.


Meeting at the shop tomorrow. Our first one of the year. I texted this morning because as I suspected, no one had taken anything out of the freezer. Looks like maybe turkey tacos. And it's probably going to be cold. I hate the winter months. The meetings always wrap up early and everyone just seems low energy. Maybe I'm projecting. The time of winter when the days are short and the wind cuts so hard I can't be outside depresses me to no end.

This evening when I'm home, I do look forward to seeing the kitties and sleeping on my pillow. My damn neck hurts like I'm 75. I hate to see the state of things I'll walk into. And tomorrow is the first real day of real life resuming. I don't care for it. I get to go and model for eyelash extensions again. I'm apparently a good model because I can lie very still and keep my eyes closed for two hours. These folks are unfamiliar with insomnia, it appears. I'm also a bit of a challenge because my eyelashes are absurdly curly. No idea why that makes perfect sense.

Real life. I don't want to do it again just yet. But here we go...

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